Brian's Story 

 

    Destitute Father

 

Blissful beginnings Brian O'Neal has been married 11 years -- working hard in every way throughout in order to nurture his wife and family. For several years early on, he had taken on the huge responsibility of holding down at least two jobs at a time, along with fulfilling his army reserve and national guard military desire. With that he served honorably after 9 years. This effort greatly helped his wife pay off a $30K college debt in Social Work. Half way through his marriage came two new lives of precious little ones. Unfortunately they were unable to make it into this world because of miscarriage. Through Brian’s continued hard work and a newly thriving martial arts business, extremely high medical debt was paid off. Subsequently, two wonderful surviving children came along. Brian’s efforts to love and nurture his wife and family brought him joy beyond measure. His leadership and work enabled the purchase of a lovely, modest home twenty five miles west of the Twin Cities. His wife seemed content with the home. Developing concern Thereon however , Brian's wife’s post-partum depression gradually set in and she became dependent on Prozac. She needed to quit part time work. Stay at home motherhood proved difficult. She reported an incident to a relative on Brian's side about her uncontrolled feeling of wanting to harm the two children. Fortunately, this relative intervened. Brian was often bringing Joey, the oldest boy to his work and staying up with the children at night. Brian's mother was also frequently called to help take care of the children. Then, at Brian's wife’s invitations, frequent visits by her step father into the home had brought some degree of despair for Brian. Brian would often return from work and find his wife and her step father together, he often undressed from the waist up and sitting by her side. Brian questioned her about this activity and her response was that this was not Brian's business. Tragedy followed soon and struck in 2005. Brian's wife’s brother, homeless and after years suffering from past periodic drug addiction and withdrawal, showed some signs of wanting to get his life back together. Brian's wife’s mother and step father did not accept this homeless young son into their home. Jerry was welcomed into Brian's and his wife’s home. At the time, their guest Jerry was clinically in severe depression and saturated with anti-psychotropic medication. Caringly but also very carefully, Jerry was given the delicate balance of plenty of rest, proper nutrition, and simple chores for about two weeks. Unexpectedly, he left the home one night for southern Minnesota. The next morning, he was discovered leaning over a computer keyboard in a blood soaked apartment with a rifle at his side. Needless to say, tremendous grief permeated the O'Neal home the months and even years since. But grief seemed to give way to strain in the marriage. The past year, the strain evolved into alienation between the two key members of the household --husband and wife--dad and mom. The counseling abyss in a medial facility For the childrens’ sakes, they sought help through counseling in the medical health care system. Ensuing events seemed to cascade into distress. The counselor took a course of action, not to deal with root causes of the problems in the marriage, but instead to target Brian with several unwarranted psychological labeling and stigma. Then, “painfully,” according to Brian, the counselor exhibited “inappropriate visual attraction” toward Brian's wife more than once-- too graphic to describe here. Brian expressed his displeasure about it in a civilized manner. His wife gained control of the counseling by recommending Brian for “anger management control." As such, the counselor recklessly forced Brian on considerable and wrongly prescribed medication (as you shall see) . Also recommended were relentlessly more and expensive counseling. At this point in early 2007, Brian began to plead for help. So he sought another personal counselor who seemed to understand his plight. This counselor brought to light the importance of true repentance. Brian acknowledged his weaknesses and asked his wife for forgiveness of things past. She rejected him. Brian's side of his family grieved over what he was going through. Incidentally, during this time, Brian's wife’s mother suddenly received a large inheritance after the death of her father -- so she and Brian's wife's step father became very wealthy. Brian's wife continued the original counseling and sought to distort the truth of Brian's character with several of her friends and relatives. The pressure Brian had to endure became unbearable for him. While holding on to his business at 50 hours per week, he needed to help his wife through her depression by tending to the children for considerable amounts of time. At the same time, he had to attend regular sessions for two and sometimes three sets of counselors. The past July 07 his wife and children, twice left for southern, Mn. to be with her mother and step father. The burdens of overwork, medical, counseling, mortgage, extraordinary medication costs, and endless expectations from his wife were too much. And Brian could not gain upon his modest income. On July 21, 07, his wife left the home with the children again, this time not to come back. Brian's wife has taken a new life with her mother and step father in what appears to be a new windfall circle of wealth. Overwork, abandonment, and on high doses of medication forced upon him, Brian felt there was seemingly no way out of a life of facing impossible pain and suffering. August 2, 07 -- a life shattered. An Operation Living Hope (OLH) staff member tried calling him at his home but no answer. This member, along with another member ran and drove to his home and discovered him laying alone in his bedroom. He was barely conscious and surrounded by his several empty pill bottles. Emergency arrived quickly and rushed him to the hospital. Doctors there found he was on wrong medication (amphetamine which was prescribed by his original counselor). He underwent drug extraction and recovery for two weeks in the hospital . On August 10, 07, Brian's wife made a brief visit to his hospital ward to seek to persuade the nursing staff to change and intensify his medication. They denied her request. On her way out, she and little 4 year old Joey passed by Brian's room. His wife issued phone calls to him during his stay such as “The children need different healthy father and you are sick, sick, sick!” and with a laugh "The Police are going to have a big surprise for you!". Sure enough late in rehab, the police arrived two separate times with court orders of protection against Brian. Nurses on staff claimed they had never seen anything like this. Upon dismissal, Brian accepted an offer by the OLH staff to live in their home. Through the love of the Lord, hope, and prayer, OLH has been striving to give Brian the care he needs to go on. But another setback was dealt against Brian. Another court order for protection by the police was presented against Brian -- an issue of permanent no contact with his wife and children. How could this be? Her intent for Brian's life was grave concern. September 1, 07 -- concern for the children. Slowly recovering, hiring a family attorney was his necessary first step. Brian's crippled business, mounting debt, the upcoming legal expenses, and court hearing were looming. But the thoughts of Brian and his parents were mainly on the children. A court ordered guardian was appointed to intercede. Minnesota favors mothers, and rightly so in many cases. As expected, Brian's wife's attorney team has positioned him in a purely defensive posture. However, a September 19 court hearing proved to be a mixed blessing for Brian. The court orders for protection were determined baseless and lifted. He was granted supervised custody of the children on weekends in the OLH home where he was staying and of course the necessity to provide full child support + some spousal maintenance. But the legal fees for him to have the orders for protection lifted against him and temporary custody so far has cost him $12.5K October 1, 07 -- concern for endless litigation Brian has been managing to revive his business to some extent with good help from his brother Mike. His $6K deductible Hospital debt is coming due. With that, he has been fulfilling his financial obligations to his wife and children on his own. But his wife is demanding her attorney fees be paid by him along with other unrealistic high financial expectations. The no contact order has not permitted Brian to work things out with his wife. Brian has maxed out his credit cards. His home is now for sale. If any proceeds can be produced from the sale of the home, he and his wife are in need of ways to finance further litigation for Brian to pay toward her continuing legal fees. Another court hearing is set for November 19. November 1, 07 -- concern for the children On considerable meds, Brian continues to attend his required counseling faithfully, hold onto his scaled down business, parent his children two days per week, prepare for upcoming surgery to remove polyps on the 16th and court the 19th. His wife chooses no closure and continues to reject him. It appears her new wealth has furnished her choice for further litigation. Brian has lost everything and his parents have depleted their personal savings ($6.5K) to help him. Brian's and his wife's home continues to be listed on the market, but as yet there have been no buyers. Daily reading from the book of Job in the Bible has been a tremendous encouragement for Brian. Looking to Jesus, "He that has the Son has life, and he that has not the Son has not life." 1 John 5:12. For this reason, Brian is holding onto life and living the mission he was put on earth for. He has continued concern for the children. Brian has been distressed by the patterns of depression and suicidal activity revealed on his wife's side of the family in southern Minnesota. Within the last two and one half years, events below have taken place: a) Brian's wife experienced numerous episodes of post partum depression b) Statement by Brian's wife's mother to Brian, "You marry into our family and you might as well marry into depression along with it." b) His wife's brother has committed suicide. c) Her original father has attempted suicide twice. d) Brian has attempted suicide but prevented by the life sustaining care of the Lord first, and then Operation Living Hope. (Brian has stated evidence that his wife and her step father have meddled in Brian's psychiatric files and have tried to influence his diagnosis.) e) Now, Brian's 4 year old son is in the new setting with his wife and her mentor step father. They and their counselor have labeled him as having "opposition defiance disorder." It is of deep concern that they have a drive to overmedicate or improperly medicate him with mind or behavior altering drugs. December 1, 07 -- further litigation November 19th court results: Brian's wife (the petitioner), her step father, and their attorney yell in court about Brian's "psychological incompetence." The judge slammed the hammer and granted Brian an additional day per week to be with his children unsupervised in or out of the OLH home. After the decision, it was clearly apparent that the petitioner and her step father had difficulty containing their anger. Brian's attorney has been very helpful. However, Brian's funds for him are empty. All he owns is gone -- savings, retirement account. The home which he and the petitioner own has foreclosure looming. Bankruptcy is not an option because under present law, it is very difficult to have it granted. Free legal assistance is unavailable in the county of Brian's residence at this time is not an option because limited help is two months off. The petitioner and her step father are continuing in their relentless ways to litigate, supported by their windfall. They are demanding 200% of what Brian is making in his scaled down business. Court is set for early January. Brian trusts God's intervention. January 1, 08 ....Settlement in sight? A recent required court mediation session between Brian and the petitioner has canceled the upcoming scheduled court session. The petitioner's attorney and Brian's attorney have persuaded the disgruntled petitioner to simply accept full child support, and basic health insurance coverage for the children, and her van loan to be paid for by Brian. Brian was ordered to make monthly payments on the house and utilities until it can be sold and be granted the children on weekends. To the current date, the petitioner and her step father continue in their rage and rejection of Brian and bitterness toward the justice system. There is speculation among many that the petitioner and her step father were driven to end Brian's life -- but they did not succeed. Their motive? To use the welfare system (your tax dollars) to their economic advantage for health insurance, to collect 3 times social security benefits (mother and two children) from Brian's death, receive benefits for each of the two surviving children, collect on Brian's life insurance, and to rid him from seeing his children? Feb. 1, 08 ... Petitioner Contends Against Mediation Settlement The petitioner and her step father are demanding amendments to the mediation settlement...her attorney fees, , little Joe's psychiatry bills and her counseling expenses be paid by Brian. With her mother and step-father's wealth handed to her, and the value of their gold inheritance rising, they are relentless in litigation. Brian has taken up a loan to pay his attorney and is having difficulty paying bills. Her latest phone call to Brian: "I'm going to treat my next husband better than you, and you are going to have to accept that!" Brian suffered heart and chest pains on Feb 24, 11PM. Medics and OLH staff were at the scene. Anxiety was overtaking Brian. The healing words of Matthew 6 were soothing. He is OK now. March 15, 08 ...Brian...Broken, yet sustained Brian is overjoyed with his court granted privilege to be with his children two to three days per week. But he is now over $20K in credit card debt for legal costs and unable to make payments on his home. His car is currently not drivable and is sitting in the driveway of Operation Living Hope. He has been in need to weekly transport the children to and from a half way designated place toward southern Minnesota for the petitioner and her step father to interchange the children. OLH has lent Brian their car to do so. Brian also cherishes his court ordered right to phone visit and pray with his children every night. However, the disgruntled petitioner and her like- minded, mentor step father have revealed their anger over the children being able to speak with their father over the phone. April, May, 08 The petitioner, living in the new setting of her mother and step father's home has remained unemployed. It is apparent that her full time passion is to prey upon Brian. She has expressed by phone to Brian her pleasure with her other extensive social life as the children in the background overhear. Brian is concerned about the children and the attention due them in their setting. June 10, 08 ....Petitioner and step father's drive--incapacitate, destroy Brian ....Step 1 The petitioner fires her attorney and hires a new one to file for dissolution from Brian. She paid him $10k (probably from mother's wealth) up front to get the job done. This attorney is in the same building as Brian's attorney and is a so called noted prosecuting, (win at any cost?) trial specialist. The petitioner's objective is to obtain full custody of the children and then push for more spousal maintenance, continued full child support, along with the other previously mentioned financial matters she has set Brian up to pay--at the same time branding Brian as "mentally incompetent. " Living in the Operation Living Hope home, Brian has thankfully obtained a renter for the unsellable home which the petitioner ordered him to make payments on. The rental income has enabled him to purchase a vehicle for him to drive to work or to be with his children during his granted time. Brian needs the rent to pay the mortgage as his downsized business has not enabled him to pay his bills. July 10, 08 .... Step 2---Intimidation to breakdown The petitioner and her step father are up to their relentless tactics. Are they attempting investigation of an innocent man? Here is a photo copy of the entire body of a brief letter sent by their new attorney on July 9. Here on the anniversary of Brian's attempt on his life, the grief continues. The echoes of little Joey's cry for his dad seem to tell the whole story. Brian throughout has exhibited absolute exemplary character, standing fast, patient, long suffering, a man and father of principle. Brian's psychologist has stated to him that he is doing so very well since the attempt on his life a year ago. He placed him on minimal doses of medication. Aug 13, 08....Step 3---Interrogation of Brian Brian's psychologist advised Brian not to give in to the intimidation tactics of the prosecuting attorney. But if he had to participate in such deposition, the psychologist insisted the petitioner -wife go through the same procedure. Brian gave in to his attorney's advise to go forth with the ordered deposition. It was a difficult experience for two hours in the prosecuting attorney's office. At one point, according to Brian, the prosecuting attorney lunged at Brian almost nose to nose with his eyes bulged out. Brian sat back in his chair not flinching. Allegations were that Brian threw a pillow at the couch years ago and that Brian prayed with Missy over the phone that she would become a Proverbs 31 woman (one who respects her husband and works to help support her family). Why these are allegations has not been understood. Trial is set for October 6. Brian is having difficulty making child support payments. We at Operation Living Hope are again begging for your concern and hope that Brian's petitioner wife and step father will stop the ongoing litigation which appears to be their calculated effort to incapacitate Brian. September - 2008 through October -2009: Persevering litigation Brian has found strength and fellowship through the Father's Project of Minneapolis (a support group for single fathers) and Family Baptist Church in North Minneapolis.. He has also received basic needs help from Operation Living Hope during this period while enduring further litigation. October 25 2009 A third judge has finalized the case. She demanded the petitioner and her mentor step father and their lawyer to stop the endless frivolous litigation. Their consequences for not doing so was to undergo psychiatric evaluation. January 10, 2011 Onward Bound and Rebuilt Toward Self-sufficiency Brian is doing well now and has resumed his small business. He is happy. He has found independence in a modest apartment. And he has joy with his children in a joint custody arrangement. < /div>